Types of Responses

There are a number of different types of responses you can give – or receive – each with its own relative level of effectiveness. 

Successful leaders are aware of these types of responses, understand how they can be used – both positively and negatively – consider the potential cultural value of each response, and know how to use effective speaking and listening skills to ensure communication is clear.

• Direct: Exact and specific.  Yes or no.
• Indirect: A less than accurate representation of what you’re thinking.
• Helping: Advances, clarifies or adds to the discussion or relationship.
• Toxic: Unhelpful, negative or regresses the discussion or relationship.

You have probably met some people you think communicate more clearly than others. This may be due to the types of responses they use to communicate. 

Direct responses
This type is probably the easiest to define and recognize.  It is an exact and specific response to the communication or question posed.  There is no room for ambiguity.  To be classified as a direct response, it must also be true.

Example:           

Maria:            Do you want to work on this story with me?

Silvia:            Yes. (And this is an honest, accurate representation of her feelings.)

Indirect responses
This is the opposite of the direct response.  It is a less than accurate representation of what you are really thinking or feeling or what you really mean.  You may give an indirect response when you don't want to – or don’t think you can – give a direct response, or when you don't think it is appropriate. 

Example:           

Maria:            Do you want to work on this story with me?

Silvia:            I don’t know. (When she really doesn’t want to, but doesn’t want to say so.)

An indirect response is a way for the responder to avoid the initial communication rather than answer it in a straightforward manner. 

Some people are not comfortable giving a direct response.  This might happen when the responder is unsure how she feels or fears you will think she is less intelligent, less skilled or not as competent as you. Faced with this situation, she might answer indirectly or pose a question that will help her find out more information from you to help her shape a response.

Others might ask questions that reflect how they feel or what they think rather than providing a direct response.  This could happen when someone is not sure how well you will receive her actual thoughts and feelings.  If you pay attention when people respond to you with a question rather than a direct response to what you said, you will be better able to judge their response to you. 

Be aware of cultural influences on communication styles.  In the U.S., being direct is often highly valued.  But in other cultures, indirect responses are the norm.  Just because someone gives you what you think is an indirect response does not mean that she is avoiding your question.  It may be the normal conversational style.  (For more information on cross-cultural communication, check the resources list.)

Passive-aggressive responses
This is a type of indirect response.  You communicate verbally that everything is fine, but your nonverbal behavior says that everything is not fine. Passive-aggressive behavior is a substitute for upfront, straightforward, verbal confrontation.

For example, if Anna had simply exercised authority over Joan in the previous example and excluded Joan from the interviews, they may have continued working together as if nothing were wrong. 

If Joan were acting in a passive-aggressive manner, she might have told sources that she was the project leader or may have spoken poorly about Anna to them.  Anna could have then engaged in passive-aggressive behavior herself by criticizing Joan in front of their supervisor. 

This could lead to a bad relationship between Anna and Joan that would then taint all of their future interactions.  If they both continued acting in a passive-aggressive manner, they might never confront each other directly about the initial conflict or the subsequent behavior, but would continue to behave in ways aimed to undermine each other’s credibility and competence.

Diluted responses
This is also a type of indirect response. It is when you dilute your actual thoughts or feelings so the impact is diminished.  You might tell your colleague you didn’t like her segment on the new health care legislation, when you really did because you might think she will be too egotistical.  Or, on the other hand, you might say you liked the segment she produced even though you didn’t, because you don't want to hurt her feelings. 

As an exact and accurate reflection of your feelings, the direct response is the most effective in getting your message across.  Your listener has to do minimum interpretation, thereby eliminating opportunities for misinterpretation.

Helping and Toxic Responses

Another way to categorize responses is to divide them into two categories: helping and toxic.   Identifying communication this way will help you decide whether or not you want to engage in further conversation or if you want to keep interactions to a minimum. 

A helping response is one that advances, clarifies or adds to the discussion or the conversation. 

Example:

Helen’s response is helpful because it directly responds to Teresa’s problem in deciding how to cut the budget. 

A toxic response is one that isn’t beneficial.  It does nothing to advance the discussion, relationship or conversation.  It is negative and doesn’t help the communication or the conversation. 

Example:

Here, Helen gives a toxic response.  It does nothing to clarify or further the discussion. It interjects negative emotion into a situation that is already filled with emotional and sensitive issues (for example, whose project gets cut). Most importantly, this statement in no way contributes to a solution to the problem, which is the topic that Teresa raised.

As a leader, you will need to take into account your own goals and your team goals, and decide which response is appropriate at any given time.  The point is for you to be aware of these response types, to have them in your repertoire, and to understand their relative levels of effectiveness.  With this information, you can make your own calculated decisions as to when you want to use them in your own communications.

Communication skills are the foundation of effective leadership.  Strong communication skills will enable you to better analyze the strengths and talents of your team members and will help you develop relationships based on trust and build effective teams.  Your success as a leader or manager is heavily dependent on your ability to communicate effectively.