Types of relationships

As a leader or manager, part of your job is to make sure your team or group completes the tasks assigned to them. If you are in a support position, building relationships is important since you will be interacting with co-workers and supervisors. Your success at work may depend on the quality of these interactions. In all the different roles and relationships, it’s important to look at the type and nature of relationships you develop.

First, developing relationships must be a conscious process, as is developing strategies for establishing and maintaining them. Decide what type of relationships you want to have with people in the workplace:

Do you want to keep your relationships on a professional level?
Do you want to have relationships that combine professional and personal elements?
Do you want to have a mentoring relationship?
Are you looking to develop relationships with people who will be your allies?

After you establish what type of relationship you want to have, you will need to decide on a plan or strategy for establishing it. This may be as simple as asking a colleague to be your mentor or asking someone to go for coffee outside of the office, although in some cases it might be more complex.

Hint: You do not have to like someone to have a professional relationship with that person. You just need to show your willingness to do whatever it takes to get the job done.

For example, it is more challenging to change an existing relationship. If you already have problems in the relationship or if you didn’t confront someone who responded to you in inappropriate ways, it will be more difficult to rectify these situations. Remember: It is easier to establish a good relationship from the start than to change one that has already developed inappropriately.

It is very important that you consciously develop your relationships. You should think about the type of relationship you want to have so you can plan how to develop it. Relationships formed automatically or without planning may not give you want you want or need. Or they may develop in negative, toxic or uncontrollable ways and lower your self-esteem.

At the very least, try to think consciously about developing and maintaining professional relationships with those you work with. This can simply be a cordial or civil relationship that lets you share information and work together.

However, you may wish to develop personal relationships with a co-worker with whom you share common interests. You may find that your children are in the same grade, or you go to the same church or have mutual friends. It is quite acceptable to extend the relationship beyond the workplace, but there are some questions to consider before you do.

To think about:

How will you feel if a friend is more successful on the job than you are?
As a manager or supervisor, how will you feel if you have to discipline or evaluate a close friend?
How will you handle being perceived as contributing to rivalries or tensions in the workplace - or being the source of such tensions? Think about the impact on your other relationships, your responsibilities, and your continued employment.
Can you be fair to your entire staff if you are friendlier with some than others?
Can you maintain confidentiality in the workplace and not inappropriately divulge information to those with whom you are friends?
Can you maintain the lines of authority with people with whom you have become friendly?
Will you try to exert more influence over some staffers than others when you develop personal relationships with them?

It is your decision to add a personal aspect to any professional relationship. Understand that it is a conscious decision and make it in your own best interest. Think about how work relationships will impact your immediate and long-term performance at work.

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